Football gaffes: Michael Owen, Chris Kamara, Paul Merson, Ryan Giggs… the funniest nonsense spoken on TV in 2016


THERE is nowhere to hide on live TV and the usual suspects did their best to make the past year a memorable one.

There is no doubt what type of event Ryan Giggs’ Christmas dinner will be, while Michael Owen should watch out for the jokes’ he’s pulling from his cracker.

Maichael Owen has offered the usual pearls of wisdom
Maichael Owen has offered the usual pearls of wisdom
Reuters

An Australian commentator managed to cause great offence by claiming that a 14-year-old Chinese swimmer ‘died like a pig’ while live on air in one of the worst.

And Owen managed to dig himself a hole when he sparked a sexism row following a joke at presnter Rachel Brown-Finnis’ expense.

Owen and Paul Merson almost merit an entire section to themselves in SunSport‘s collection of ‘Sporting Insights’ from 2016.

But they’re far from alone, and here are the best of the bunch…

Michael Owen: "With all due respect, no one paid Leicester any respect."

Michael Owen: "The ball is just like a string on the end of his toe."

Greg Jennings: "When someone kneels for the national anthem you have to commend them for making a stand."

Benik Afobe: "Honestly, Jack Wilshere hasn't got a harmless bone in his body."

Jack Wilshere... whose bones are so rarely harmed
Jack Wilshere... whose bones are so rarely harmed
Reuters

Paul Merson: "Cabaye beat Schmeichel, who was unbeatable all day."

Matt Le Tissier: "Man City drew both games 1-0."

Jermaine Jenas: "The big question is, can Dele Alli burst himself on the international stage."

Phil Thompson: "Liverpool have stayed where they are and regressed."

Michael Owen: "Henderson's advantage is that he's got real legs."

Ryan Giggs: "To win the Premier League, it's a war of nutrition."

Ryan Giggs takes on a 'war of nutrition'
Ryan Giggs takes on a 'war of nutrition'
News Group Newspapers Ltd

Mauricio Pochettino: "Sometimes you never know what will happen in the future."

Ian Holloway: "I don't believe in targets, so I set my own targets."

Tony Cottee: "The comeback is on because they've just completed it."

Gerry Taggart: "It was a terrible error and Danny Drinkwater looks destitute."

Gordon Strachan: "You can't put your finger on why Southampton's academy does so well but it's all about good coaching and discipline."

Vincent Kompany: "I've made one commitment and that's to be honest with my feelings. And to listen to the medical staff."

Steve Bruce: "This is Wayne Rooney at his best. He takes a shot and it goes wide."

Wayne Roonet at his best after firing wide
Wayne Rooney at his best after firing wide
PA:Press Association

Scott McGarvey: "I've received a lot of phone calls and a lot of no phone calls."

Paul Merson: "I'm not being disresponsible, but Zlatan used to be world class."

And Alan Pardew: "The American NFL game is almost like a foreign sport."

Dion Dublin: "When England reach a tournament our souffle tends to crumble."

Alan Pardew: "For all their faults, you couldn't fault them."

Alan Pardew: "The one thing we know about Bolasie is that we know everything about him."

Alan Pardew knew all he need to know about Yannick Boalsie
Alan Pardew knew all he need to know about Yannick Boalsie
Reuters

Phil Thompson: "Jermain Defoe is always going to get you a goal when he scores."

Lee Dixon: "Arsenal got a point against PSG but play like that against PSG and they'll get beat."

Paul Walsh: "If it wasn't over now it definitely was before."

Roy Keane: "Taking nothing away from the free-kick, the keeper's taken a step to the left which makes it easier."

Theo Walcott: "I want to know where I want to play."

Glenn Hoddle: "It was a quality finish that hit the bar."

Gary Neville: "Look at Eden Hazard here, standing still and walking."

Eden Hazard apparently defies the laws of physics
Eden Hazard apparently defies the laws of physics
Reuters

David Croft: "Rosberg's got the track to himself with only Massa out there with him."

David Gower: "When you've got enough runs on the board how many runs are enough?

John Hartson: "Eden Hazard has been you-nonymous in that first half."

Chris Coleman: "Fear is nothing to be afraid of."

Steve McManaman: "You can't say Man City are tired. They just look like they're lacking energy."

Rio Ferdinand: "Together with his staff, Simeone has single-handedly created that spirit."

Neil Lennon: "Leicester were 5,000-1 to win the league but ended up as champions. What are the odds of that happening?"

Whats were the odds of this?!
Whats were the odds of this?!
Getty Images

Charlie Nicholas: "Stoke were awful, so credit to them."

Phil Thompson: "Mark Hughes doesn't want his side to stop until they rest on their laurels."

Charlie Nicholas: "Arsene's always found magical players and turned them into magical players."

Charlie Nicholas: "For Wenger, the solutions are getting harder to solve."

Paul Merson: "The Leicester players are round holes in round circles."

Charlie Nicholas: "The one person West Ham are missing is Collins and the others."

Dele Alli: "The manager has given us good thrive."

Ledley King: "The young Spurs players have a great future behind them."

The past, presnt and future at White Hart Lane
The past, present and future at White Hart Lane
Getty Images

Paul Merson: "Naismith went off very tired. Like at Everton, he ran tirelessly."

Paul Merson: "Along with Sam Allardyce, Jermain Defoe will single-handedly keep Sunderland up."

Alan McInally: "Rooney takes the penalty, puts it the wrong way and scores."

Phil Thompson: "They don't have sleeves but they rolled their sleeves up."

Mark Schwarzer: "Chris Brunt is the captain, so getting hit in the face by a coin is a real slap in the face."

Kirsty Gallacher: "Vassell will take charge until the end of the semen."

Kirsty Gallagher got pulses racing yet again
Kirsty Gallagher got pulses racing yet again
Splash News

Paul Merson: "Stoke are a top eight side. They'll finish eighth or ninth."

Rio Ferdinand: "This is why the Premier League is the best league in the world. Although it's not at the moment."

Chris Kamara: "That bit of energy was dipissitated."

Francis Benali: "Taylor took a touch and worked it on to his left hand foot."

Jamie Carragher: "If Arsenal don't win it this year, it'll be another ten years before they don't win it again."

They might do it... at some point
They might do it... at some point
Getty Images

Tim Sherwood: "Anywhere else on the pitch, that's a penalty."

Chris Kamara: "I think Troy Deeney was definitely on, but you saw it in the quick of a flash."

Phil Thompson: "He was handed the job but it was a poisoned chapter."

Tony Gale: "It's now or never for Arsenal and that chance won't come along again too often."

Dion Dublin: "If you've had a stinker, I don't care how well you've played, don't go out."

And ITV's Being Kevin Pietersen: "One word answer, what's your biggest weakness?" "Too honest."


Leave a comment