KALLUM Watkins has lifted the lid behind the mental battles he has been going through behind the scenes.
And he admits that while Leeds were winning the treble, 2015 was arguably his darkest period.
On the field, the England centre appeared to have the world at his feet – winning trophies, playing for England and establishing himself among the world’s best.
Off it, the story was very different. He would sometimes lock himself away in a room for hours on end and his will to do anything disappeared.
Wife Sophie said a lack of routine was the biggest factor behind Watkins’ depression.
Now after seeking help, he is coming through the other side and believes others should follow the path he did to overcome their demons.
“It’s been tough,” Watkins admitted. “I went through the cycle of being up then down.
“And in 2015 when things were really successful on the field and it was probably my best year on it, off it things weren’t going well at all.
“I was down in the dumps, around that time I was in complete denial. A lot of people think, ‘It can’t happen to me,’ but it does.
“At my lowest, it was all the locking myself in a room thing and not having the energy to do anything.
“That made a huge impact and was an influence on my relationship with my family too. I’d always find it hard to open up.
“I needed help and I got help and after every session I felt better as I had opened up to someone I didn’t know who wasn’t going to judge me.
“Sophie revealed everything to try and spread the word about dealing with those kind of situations, mental health is huge.
“It was a brave and great moment for her to do that and it was a big thing for me too.
“Fans see the good stuff on the field and a lot talk about rugby league players being superhero sportsmen – we’re just human.
“A lot of people probably have a mental health issue but don’t recognise it. Now I can open up a lot more about certain situations.
“I’m a laid back person but being comfortable about opening up has helped me along the way and it’s helped me on the field too in terms of becoming more of a leader.”
Watkins, who looks a certainty for England’s World Cup squad, is also ready to show Leeds have come through their bad spell by winning the Grand Final in a ‘home’ tie.
The 26-year-old grew up literally in the shadow of Old Trafford and if he wanted to, he could be at his family’s home minutes after the game as it is just down the road.
He recalls attending the 1999 Grand Final and several big matches with dad Gary, who he cites as the biggest influence on his career.
It will be extra sweet to step out on Saturday after the Rhinos flirted with relegation last year but a match that is not as nervy as Castleford’s extra-time semi-final win may go down well.
Watkins, whose side defeated Hull 18-16 to make the showpiece, said: “It’s crazy how good both semi-finals were, especially Castleford’s on Thursday. It was intense just watching it on the TV.
“I watched it and just enjoyed the game. It was interesting to see who came through. It was incredible.
“Last year was a poor season for us but it was also a learning curve. A big example of that is last year we were constantly not performing.
“Yes, we got ourselves out of trouble but the focus was quickly turned to performing well this year. When times have not been good this year, we’ve reacted much better in the next game.
“It’s massive what we’ve done. To make the Grand Final is a huge achievement.”
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