It seems like the Giro d’Italia started just yesterday because it almost did. We’re only three stages in and it’s a rest day already, not that anyone is complaining. The riders spent the day spinning easy and we used the downtime as an excuse to ask our five American pros another series of Unserious Questions.
Your hypothetical Great Aunt Peggy is going on vacation. Since you’re now an expert on Italian islands, should she go to Sardinia or Sicily?
Pete Stetina (Trek-Segafredo): Depends if Aunt Peggy is known as Crazy Aunt Peggy. Does she like turquoise waters and calm villages? Or chaos and no road rules?
Alex Howes (Cannondale-Drapac): Sardinia by a mile. So far.
Chad Haga (Sunweb): So far, the Sicilian coastal roads have treated me much better — 30km along the coast today, and I didn’t even come close to being blown off my bike. Also, I don’t have a Great Aunt Peggy.
Joey Rosskopf (BMC): Great Aunt Peggy wouldn’t stand a chance driving in Sicily. She’d better stick to a nice agriturismo B&B on some quiet, secluded cove in Sardinia.
Joe Dombrowski (Cannondale-Drapac): Sardinia.
What was your first thought when you got up this morning?
Stetina: Damnit, I have to wait too long for breakfast. My Euro teammates sleep way too late.
Howes: Why is it so hot in this room? Why is it so noisy outside? Why am I already awake? Why? Why? Why?!
Haga: I should have swapped my ride clothes for my aeropress in my carry-on (the luggage was on the bus, taking the ferry overnight).
Rosskopf: I guess car horns have replaced chirping birds as my wake-up call.
Dombrowski: We are sleeping next to a highway. That is for sure.
Does anything hurt?
Stetina: My patience with current hotel staff. Every answer is “not possible.”
Howes: My ankles. Why?!?
Haga: Nope, all’s good.
Rosskopf: Not yet.
Dombrowski: Nope.
How do your legs feel, on a scale of one to 10? One is real bad.
Stetina: Good to go. Three days on, one day off is like a standard training block.
Howes: Five. Airplanes never make the body feel good.
Haga: e^2, because non-integers are more fun, and now you have homework. [Nerd alert. -Ed.]
Rosskopf: Eight.
Dombrowski: Seven? Maybe too early to tell.
Pete has his own hashtag for this Giro (#AmericanGiro). What’s your hashtag?
Howes: #DidPeteVoteTrump?
Haga: It’s pretty selfish of Pete to take the whole continent, don’t you think? Maybe I want to share it. Otherwise, I’ll turn my name into an acronym: #HagaAtGiroAgain #HAGA
Rosskopf: My hashtag (that I’ve never used): #Slowey
Dombrowski: I am vehemently against the use of hashtags.
Let’s say you win the stage to Etna tomorrow. What volcano-themed pun headline should we use?
Stetina: Wait, is VeloNews asking me to do their job for them? [Yes. -Ed.]
Howes: Alex Howes metaphorically dumps peloton into red-hot lava as he flows to victory in red-hot stage to the top of an active volcano.
Haga: Haga erupts into prominence. I can also answer for Howes: Alex flows upwards on Etna.
Rosskopf: You better lava him now or lava him not! Rosskopf set to retire immediately.
Dombrowski: Dombro blows up the peloton with an eruptive performance on Etna.
Which would you prefer right now: Hot fudge sundae or a bacon cheeseburger (with avocado, but it costs $1 extra)?
Stetina: A West Coast style IPA is all I desire. While I sit by the ocean.
Howes: Carnitas burrito with the avocado.
Haga: Bacon cheeseburger w/ avocado! (Chipotle charges $3 for guacamole, your $1 surcharge is nothing.)
Rosskopf: I’ll take the hot fudge sundae, with nuts!
Dombrowski: The burger — we get loads of sweet on the bike.
What’s next?
It will be a full week before the Giro peloton gets another rest day, and the stages to get there are anything but easy. Mt. Etna is up on Tuesday, followed by a string of rolling stages up through the Italian mainland. Then on the eve of the next rest day comes Blockhaus, a brutal uphill finish. We’ll catch up with the Americans the day after.
The post Unserious Questions: Aunt Peggy’s travels; writing Etna headlines appeared first on VeloNews.com.