The Giro d’Italia ended on a high for the American contingent. Joey Rosskopf put in a top-five in the final time trial, Chad Haga and his Sunweb team won their first grand tour, Cannondale-Drapac ended its grand tour drought, and Joe Dombrowski successfully defended 69th overall. Big wins all around. To celebrate, we hit them with one more round of Unserious Questions.
Describe the last week of this Giro with four adjectives.
Alex Howes (Cannondale-Drapac): Beautiful, tedious, sloping, a real f—king pain in the feet.
Peter Stetina (Trek-Segafredo): Illness. Climbing. Eating. FUBAR’d.
Chad Haga (Sunweb): Anxious, horrific, hopeful, elated
Joey Rosskopf (BMC): Up, down, “PIANO!” full (stomach)
Joe Dombrowski (Cannondale-Drapac): Condensed. Altimetrous. Sunny. Well-ended.
If you could be any American cyclist, who would you be?
Howes: Davis Phinney. I saw him jump a bloated raccoon, sprinting full flight in the drops no so long ago. Probably with his eyes closed. Legend.
Stetina: Tyler Farrar. Pure sprinter. Just to know what it’s like on the opposite end of the spectrum of bike racer body type from myself.
Haga: I don’t like the implication that I’m not happy being me, so I’m skipping this one!
Rosskopf: Ty Magner! Quick sprints, big MTB jumps, and long wheelies.
Dombrowski: Alex Howes.
Are you good at keeping plants alive?
Howes: Cactus are plants. Yes.
Stetina: During my recovery from my broken leg all I could do for my daily dose of vitamin D was sit in the dirt, poke holes in the ground, and drop seeds. We have two peach, one nectarine, one fig tree, a strawberry box and veggies.
Haga: If I remember to water them, yes. Good thing I married a green thumb!
Rosskopf: I like to think I could grow some stuff if I got motivated, but our little balcony of herbs is all thanks to Georgia, my pareja.
Dombrowski: Not at all. Even my cactus has died under my watch.
What’s the most Italian thing that happened to you this month?
Howes: A real negroni.
Stetina: Giro transfers. Always a “grande casino.”
Haga: Eating 10 pizzas with my team and enjoying celebratory beers on the curb after today’s podium ceremony.
Rosskopf: Us: “Could we have some cappuccinos, please?” Bar owner: “If you want cappuccinos you can go down the street. I only serve coffee.”
Dombrowski: I said scusi to non-Italians a few times without thinking.
Did you like middle school? Were you cool?
Howes: I did like middle school. I was not cool. I was the only kid who’s parents had cars, that rode a bike to school.
Stetina: Ahh, those were simpler times …
Haga: I liked it, but I was on track for an education in engineering (read: not cool).
Rosskopf: Middle school was alright! I sure felt cool! But I didn’t get along with as many of the teachers as I did in elementary or high school.
Dombrowski: No, and probably not.
What’s your favorite dinosaur?
Howes: Stegosaurus Armatus. It’s Colorado’s state dino.
Stetina: I was never a dino kid. I was all about the X-Men. Gambit was my fav.
Haga: Dumoulinous Rex. Likes to devour small climbers
Rosskopf: Longneck.
Dombrowski: Stegosaurus.
Thanks, as always, to all five riders for playing along. Unserious Questions will be back for the Tour de France.
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