ECB’s statistical spin hides the fact that Joe Root was sunk as England captain | Barney Ronay

A nice person and an all-time great batsman but after 64 Tests it is still hard to know what a Joe Root side is supposed to look like

There is a terrifying moment in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner where the crew of the mariner’s ship, lost at sea under a merciless sun, are visited by a mind-blowing vision: a ghost galleon containing only the figure of Death and a sad, pale woman.

Alone on their putrid deck, Death and the sad, pale woman – who to be fair, probably expected something more along the lines of cabaret and a buffet – play an arbitrary game of dice for the lives of the (already dying) crew.