Divorced, beheaded and died; sacked, disgraced, resigned. Not forgetting, of course, seduced by sheikhs, humiliated by an emerging volcano‑nation and bought and sold for a pint of wine and a keynote-speaker gig. Like doomed Tudor wives, this seems to be the lot of England football managers now, remembered more for the frenzied drama of their departures than any tangible success on the pitch.
With this in mind welcome, finally, to the dawning of the age of Gareth. After a trial period that ended just short of matching Sam Allardyce’s 67-day reign, Gareth Southgate has finally been appointed England manager. At the end of which the Football Association has at least given us something new. England managers have traditionally fallen into two groups: those in the process of being jeered out of the job and those about to be jeered out of the job, just as soon as everyone gets round to it.
Related: Gareth Southgate confirmed as new England manager on four-year contract
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He has the air of a young geography teacher hurrying to class early to set up his papier mache sedimentary rock bed
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