What a surprise to find that sporticidal maniac Gianni Infantino has added yet another awards ceremony to football’s calendar. As someone who believes that what the world really lacks is a further glittering night of industrial frottage, I am pleased to see the Fifa president identify the need for the football family to come together in this manner.
If only there was a tried and tested way for the footballing elite to measure themselves against each other – perhaps in regular competitions, tournaments, championships, derbies, clásicos, leagues, cups, and various other quaint old ideas that will presumably be phased out entirely in favour of competitive black tie and sponsored gifs.
Related: Money makes the World Cup go round: more teams means more cash | David Conn
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