While West Ham were saying goodbye to one of their greats, City looked unconvincing in their push to wrap up the leagueEnd-of-season games often have a slightly curious dynamic, a sense of being played at cross-purposes. On the one hand, there was Manchester City battling for the win as they pursue a fourth league title in five years. On the other, West Ham basking in the knockings of a season well done and determined to celebrate the final home game of one of their greatest recent players, Mark Noble.When Noble came on with quarter of an hour remaining, what did that mean? He had played just 308 league minutes previously this season. Would he have come on had this not...
Signing offers the ruthless unpredictability needed to break better rivals but Manchester City have still taken a riskOnce upon a time, many years ago, there were two warriors named Alf and Roy who fought for rival clans. Alf accused Roy of feigning injury after he had collapsed with ruptured knee ligaments and for the next four years, whenever they met on the battlefield, their fighting was fierce. But then Alf joined the local rivals of Roy’s team. In the derby, Roy hit Alf on the knee, hard, and Alf conceived a terrible revenge.Alf had a young son, less than a year old, and he raised him to be a great warrior. His son had extraordinary physical gifts. He was tall...
Pep Guardiola will be excited by his new toy but four goals against Wolves shows once again who City’s real star remains Welcome aboard: now beat this. Manchester City knew they were getting a purring, relentless, blond machine of a player who uses strength, speed and guile to breach defences in equal measure before marking the fact with a zen-like pose. They just did not realise Kevin De Bruyne would tick every single one of those boxes on the week Erling Haaland agreed to address their need up front, such as it is.The Belgium international replicated his new colleague’s trademark celebration after burying his third goal and if it was an act of kinship then it was also a reminder...
Guardiola has signed the one A-list goalscorer who looks an awkward fit but target men have thrived under him beforeOn the face of it this looks like the most basic piece of maths. Here is a move that can never be the wrong move. When life gives you lemons, sign Erling Haaland. When your squad doesn’t have a first-team player whose chief skill is scoring goals, sign Erling Haaland. When six years of careful team-building brings you a Champions League semi-final exit with 31 shots at goal: sign Erling Haaland.To date Haaland’s career has been a kind of extended marketing programme, a showcase for his preternatural ability to do exactly this. Here we have the cheat code player, a bolt-on...
Events in Madrid were bone-chilling, but Pep Guardiola has the tools to ensure supporters’ heartbreak is briefHow do you mend a broken heart? Not literally, that is. If you’re Manchester City, your solution to a broken heart would probably be to spend £30m on hiring the 50 best heart surgeons in the world to defibrillate it for the next 10 years.But emotionally speaking, the time-honoured way of getting over a recent trauma is to surround yourself with loved ones, throw yourself into your work and rediscover the simple pleasures in life, which in City’s case usually involves dishing out merciless spankings to bottom-half Premier League sides. Here it was the unfortunate Newcastle United who would be City’s boxercise class, their...