Has a performance ever felt less enhanced than that of the World Anti‑Doping Agency? The body notionally responsible for keeping sport clean is on the brink of lifting Russia’s doping ban, about 10 minutes after that country’s state agents were discovered to have spent much of the Sochi Winter Olympics passing clean piss through a hole in a testing lab wall, and swapping it with athlete piss marginally less tainted than the lake inside the Chernobyl exclusion zone.
But hey. Russia would like you to know that they’re just not those people any more. I imagine the speech requesting readmittance to the fold ran along the lines of Paul Calf’s on his ex-girlfriend. “I’d do anything to get her back. I’d give up drinking. Well, I’d cut down … on spirits … in the week. The point is I’d CHANGE.”
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