"I remember feeling thoughts in my head; that would scare the hell out of sober me now," Jordan Poyer wrote.
Buffalo Bills safety Jordan Poyer shared on Saturday via Instagram that he's one year sober.
"A year ago today (3/13/2020) I decided to quit drinking," the 29-year-old wrote. "Not because of anything special. Like lent or a New Years resolution. But because I was an alcoholic."
Poyer said that he couldn't drink "just to hang" but that he "used alcohol to avoid all my issues in real life."
"When I drank I could forget all of my issues. I didn't have to deal with them face on."
When the Bills lost to the Texans in the AFC wild-card game during the 2019 season, Poyer said he was so disappointed about how he played and how they lost that "for the next 5 weeks, I drank every damn day."
Poyer recalled how his wife would cry when he "couldn’t put a beer down" and how he couldn't play with his daughter, Aliyah, because he "was too intoxicated."
"I remember feeling thoughts in my head; that would scare the hell out of sober me now."
Thanks to some advice from his mom and support from other family members like his wife, he attended three Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. But, he never spoke, just listened.
Hearing others share their experiences helped Poyer put his life into perspective. Four days after his decision to quit drinking, he signed a two-year contract extension with Buffalo, worth $19.5 million.
Poyer went on in 2020 to have a career season, tallying 124 tackles to lead all safeties.
"Can’t lie even writing this, I'm embarrassed, it’s shameful, but if I can overcome the struggle of alcohol, so can you," Poyer wrote. "I didn’t want you all to know this about me. I’m writing this because I know others out there struggle as well.
"If you believe that is you; it’s never too late to seek help & to let you know My DMs are open for questions or support."