For NFL Slimetime Cohosts Burleson and Young Dylan, fantasy has been messy, to say the least.
Nate Burleson enjoyed an impressive NFL career. In 11 years with the Vikings, Seahawks and Lions, he caught 457 passes for 5,630 yards and 39 touchdowns. Since then, he’s had a meteoric rise in the TV business, currently busy as a co-anchor for both CBS Mornings and CBS’s The NFL Today. One thing Burleson hasn’t been able to conquer, however: fantasy football.
“I’ve never won a fantasy championship,” said the 40-year-old Burleson, who’s been playing since he got into the NFL in 2003. “Which sucks because I’ve never won a Super Bowl, either. Never won a bowl game. Didn’t win a championship in high school. I’m starting to feel like I’m cursed when it comes to titles and championships.”
During his playing days, Burleson had to wrestle with the question of whether or not to draft himself in fantasy.
“I was told to never draft yourself,” he said. “But then there’s other guys that are in the firm belief that if you draft yourself, you’ll play better. I just didn’t want that type of stress on my squad.”
The problem is, Burleson’s wife was a big fantasy player as well—and she would draft her husband.
“I tried to advise the wife that it’s not good for the marriage,” he said. “If I come home with just a 50-yard output game, it would be very awkward at the dinner table. There were a couple of moments like that.”
Marital strains aside, Burleson’s current fantasy futility is on full display for the world to see. As if his two CBS gigs weren’t enough, Burleson is also the cohost, along with 11-year-old rapper/actor Young Dylan of Nickelodeon’s NFL Slimetime, a kidified NFL show that airs Wednesday nights at 7 p.m. ET. Burleson and Young Dylan face off against celebrity guests in a Fantasy Showdown each week.
Team Slimetime’s record: 3-10.
“It’s definitely been a struggle,” said Burleson. “We’re riding on the struggle bus. We pick some good players. Week in and week out, we have an opportunity to win. But credit the celebrities, they pick well.”
Burleson and Young Dylan have lost to the likes of John Cena and Drew Barrymore, among others. And Nickelodeon’s youth demographic isn’t the only group taking notice. Burleson does a weekly guest spot on NFL Network’s Good Morning Football, and they’ve made sure to include a few digs.
“They always give me a hard time,” Burleson said. “They’re like, ‘Nate, what is going on? How are you losing to Chloe Grace Moretz or Kelly Rowland?’”
Burleson doesn’t like losing, but he said Young Dylan takes it harder. “I laugh every time because he gets like, ‘Nooo! Again?!’ He’s an actor and a good one at that. But a couple of times, I looked at him, and I saw a teardrop, so that looks like Denzel in Glory. That came from a real place. Dylan doesn’t like losing at all.”
From Weeks 4-13, Team Slimetime lost nine out of 10 matchups. With each loss, Burleson and Young Dylan would try to change their luck by adding to the presentation of picking their team – and there’s usually slime involved.
“So there is this thought that the messier we get, the higher our chances are to win,” Burleson said. “It’s twofold… I like slime. I’m a Nickelodeon kid—grew up watching every show they ever had. But at the same time, by the end of the season, we’re gonna be jumping into a pool full of slime. But if that’s what it takes to win, I’m down for it.”
Sure enough, Team Slimetime broke a six-game losing streak and defeated country singer Tate McRae this week. Now, Burleson is ready to make a Joe Namath-like prediction.
“We’re gonna run the table,” he said. “This is where we step up. We have to end the season on a high note. It will be messier, and our teams will be better. We can’t have Young Dylan crying every episode because we’re losing.”
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